“Love has no pride.” True statement. Just one small, itsy bitsy, insignificant detail – it ONLY applies when both parties are in love. When one party decides to quit it rather than hit it, then this little saying must immediately be trashed.
I was reminded of this recently while listening to stories about a girl who was dumped by her boyfriend, we’ll call her Princess. While I feel for Princess, the insanity of her post breakup actions are degrading to the entire female population and she must be stopped. So my heartbroken little Princess, put on your big girl panties, put DOWN the cell phone, and CLOSE facebook, cause I’m about to drop some knowledge on your pathetic ass.
True facts:
- Pathetic is not pretty, happiness is. Work on it.
- Posting about your happiness (or sadness) on facebook is pathetic. See #1.
- Emailing any of his family/friends (virtual or otherwise)/relatives/distant acquaintances is pathetic. See #1.
- Having your mother email your ex, when you’re 35 (or any age for that matter) is TOTALLY pathetic. See #1.
- Driving to his house in the middle of the night is pathetic. See #1.
- Driving to his house in the middle of the night on Valentine’s Day is really pathetic. See #1.
- Driving to his house in the middle of the night on Valentine’s Day while drunk is unbelievably pathetic. See #1.
- Driving to his house in the middle of the night on Valentine’s Day while drunk and running out of gas AND broke is inexcusably pathetic. See #1.
- Driving to his house in the middle of the night on Valentine’s Day while drunk and running out of gas AND broke, then demanding gas money while screaming up to him from the street is delusional. See a therapist.
When you’re dumped, you have so little control. You lose a huge piece of your happiness, and you’re powerless to stop it. BUT the one thing you retain complete authority over is your pride. So keep that misbehavin’, trash talking, alcohol guzzling, facebook posting, little fucker in check and just focus on happiness.
P.S. My own irony is not lost on me. I know that I wrote about facebook destroying my soul, which is not exactly material for a pride parade. BUT the difference is I worked it out privately on here and not on facebook for him to see. It’s not a bad thing to break down occasionally, it is a bad thing to have a break down in front of him. Key distinction.
