Facebook (and social media in general) are destructive to the soul

You have to delete.  Deleting ex-boyfriends/whatevers/etc. is the only way to save your precious little soul from being attacked by relentless, unexpected tidbits of information that storm into your consciousness through the “internets.”  The bastards.

For example, you’re having a perfectly happy Friday…like a really wonderful, sun-shiney, doing no work, happy Friday.  It’s the kind of day, where worries aren’t something you can fathom and your most pressing concern is what kind of delicious treat you will have for lunch.  It’s THAT kind of luscious happiness.

Then since you aren’t really doing any work, you decide to login to facebook.  (This seems innocent enough.)  You read your emails, read everyone’s latest status updates, peruse some random photos of people you don’t know, then suddenly you can an itch.  (This is where things go wrong.)  You quietly ask yourself…I wonder what such-and-such ex is up to?  Involuntarily, your curiosity transports you to their page.  Within seconds, you are staring at the casual flirtations of some lovely new face that you have never seen before.  (This is where your day gets ruined.)

Who is this trick?  When did she show up?  Is her body as cute as her face or is this some deceptive photography?  There is only way to answer these questions.  Google.  (Damn you, google, damn you.)

So I googled.  She’s a [insert really awesome job that makes me jealous], she’s a recent addition to his life, and she’s really adorable.  A “this sucks” feeling stabs me repeatedly.  I allow myself to wallow in the fact that she’s probably effortlessly wonderful at all the things I suck at…she probably never has chipped nail polish and always has expertly applied makeup, she probably has a really clean bedroom, and can’t stand to miss a work out, she’s probably always on time, and can’t wait to get married, she probably doesn’t google/facebook stalk, she’s probably perfect and wonderful and charming…whoa.  Deep breath.  Punch self in face.  Come back to reality.

Who cares about her?  I’m pretty bad-ass myself.  So what if I can never keep my nails perfectly polished?  I’m pretty damn cute and I have great hair.  I’m not thin and I hate the gym, but I’ve lost ten pounds this month.  My room is a mess, but it’s filled with adorable dresses.  My job is amazing and every single day I get to help people and change the world (it’s a very small piece of the world…but it’s mine) and someday it will reward me handsomely.    Did I mention that I have fabulous hair?  I also have a PINK frickin cruiser bike, and I’m super witty.

So…no tears for me, no wallowing, no feeling like just because I’m not a size 2 that I’m not good enough…and no letting anyone make me feel bad about myself (especially me – preventing abuse starts at home, after all).   You know what this calls for???  Oh yeah, I’m going there…

6 responses to “Facebook (and social media in general) are destructive to the soul

  1. so true. now that we have Facebook it’s so easy to spy on the ex boyfriends. I guess we should see it as a challenge and try to force ourselves not to look at their pages and seek information about their new flirts though. I heard a new application is now available on facebook and it tells you who visited your page. There’s something like that on Myspace too. It sounds like a police thing but it may be a good solution to moderate ourselves. What do you think ?

  2. Dude. Yes. FB is the f’ing devil. And YES to that video. Totally just made my day. I may have had a dance party solo in my living room. Twice.

  3. Been there, made that mistake, cried my eyes out…many times. We choose to cyber-stalk, but only punish ourselves. On the other hand, great way to make an ex jealous yourself! It really is true – being happy and having a fabulous life without whomever the “him” may be at any given moment truly is the best revenge ever. I rock and you can’t have me. Remember, nobody puts up the picture of how they really look in the morning and nobody tweets about how annoying their current future-ex is. You see a fake snapshot manipulated for maximum present effect, which will probably be meaningless within a few dozen tweets or less.
    Now, here’s where the internet gets interesting and where I suggest internet daters take a note. If you are going to meet someone on a dating site, you should know the site wel enough to know its features. So, for example, if you have the abilty to make your profile “visibile ” or “hidden” and the site tells people when you were last “active”, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT profess your undying love and commitment forever to your new girl while your profile is “visible” and “active within 24 hours.” It both destroys your credibility and simultaneously gets you dumped on your lying, pathetic a**. So now, loser boy, check out my “status” and see how sweet I am living, and no, you can’t have me.

  4. She may be cute, but her feet probably smell TERRIBLE.

  5. A-MEN! Holy crap. You rock.

  6. Pingback: A note on pride «

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